Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have been married for 34 years, and I found out my wife lied, and cheated a lot back before we got married. Does she not change, or is it possible she is still a cheater?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why do flat Earthers exist? Why can’t I see the Sun at night? Is it because Earth is not flat?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I see through liars

I have a reading level above third grade

Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Mega-Tsunamis That Shook the World for 9 Days Revealed in New Satellite Images - Gizmodo

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Is Gupta Nilayam season 1 of Raghul Vasudevan completed? Can he compile and send all Episodes at once as a long story?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Has a cop ever said something to you which was completely unexpected?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Israel launches several attacks on Beirut’s southern suburbs, south Lebanon - Al Jazeera

I have complete contempt for fakery

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What would have happened if Shin was a good movie instead of a bad one?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Are there any more 'nun' jokes?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?

I can count

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why are Republican politicians so afraid to oppose Trump?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes